This Week's Episode: Crystal Lewis!!
April 12, 2022

Dr. John Delony


Dr. John Delony is one of the leading voices in the global mental health conversation. As a team member of Ramsey Solutions, John’s radio show serves as a place to foster wellness on every level for listeners.

 

In this episode of Trevor Talks, we have the honor of hearing how John’s own mental health struggles inspired him to rethink our cultural approach to wellness. We also get his vital and knowledgeable perspective on the way current events and social climates are impacting our mental health on a very real and daily scale.

 

With two PhDs to his name, Dr. John Delony is sharing his wisdom with the world through the brand new book Own Your Past Change Your Future, which you can get from Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

 

Follow Dr. John Delony:

Website: www.ramseysolutions.com/john-delony 

Facebook: John Delony

Instagram: @johndelony

Twitter: @johndelony

 

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Transcript

Dr. John Delony  0:00  
like winning doesn't make you well, man. And we've been sold a bill of goods that if you just get on this track and run as fast as you can, you can earn or achieve or accomplish your way towards looking in the mirror and be unhappy with what you see. And that's just simply not how that works.

Trevor Tyson  0:15  
What's up everyone and welcome to another episode of Trevor talks podcast. I'm your host, Trevor Tyson. And I'm so thrilled to have each and every single one of you here for this week's episode. This week, we have a national best selling author and one of the leading voices in mental health and wellness with us. I think it also be kind of rude not to mention that the guy has not one but two PhDs. And he's the first doctor to join us since Dr. Caroline leaf. So this is awesome. He's the host of the nationally syndicated radio show the dr. john delaney show, with our friends over at Ramsey solutions. So everyone, please help me welcome Dr. John Delaney. John, welcome.

Dr. John Delony  0:55  
What's up tea to man? Appreciate that. We're here. I do have a lot of degrees but don't have a lot of friends. Man, they usually work together. Yeah,

Trevor Tyson  1:02  
I, I acknowledge the fact that you have two degrees, and you have not only two degrees, but they're both PhDs like, you've got to be a little smart to pull that off

Dr. John Delony  1:12  
road, you'd have to have no social life at all. None

Trevor Tyson  1:16  
zero. How many years of schooling was that? Oh, man,

Dr. John Delony  1:19  
I worked full time all the way through it. Also, why did that? So um, I think the first one took about five years segment about four half years or something like that. And what exactly are those then? The first one's in education. The second one's in counseling. Nice. Nice.

Trevor Tyson  1:33  
So you had quite the career there? Before you even got out of school? What did you do as you were working throughout school.

Dr. John Delony  1:40  
I was working in colleges and universities as students, just an a researcher and a professor. I was a nerd. But I was also sitting with kids as they were coming on young people in their families. And as they were trying to dig themselves out of some poor decisions or like, mess up, walk them through trauma and whatever other challenges they were having their life.

Trevor Tyson  2:02  
Well, you're obviously still doing that. But now on a national scale with your radio show, you know, as I was getting ready for this interview, I was looking back at some of the clips, and people are going through dark stuff, especially during this pandemic, man, what are some of the stories that you've heard, like, specifically over the last two years that a lot of people could probably relate with? By what's a common theme that you've seen?

Dr. John Delony  2:24  
The common theme that I think underlines most everything is, one would be loneliness, that people are disconnected. And we've outsourced every sort of relational impulse we have to a digital medium. Yeah. And so even those we love, we text all day and say, I love you. We don't look at him and say, I love you. And we haven't we have a neurological co regulation that happens that would just have thrown away by the wayside. I think we also have I wish I had a better word than this. This sounds so Terminator two, or matrix, you know, but our fear impulses have been hacked man. And the media ecosystem is all about how can I stir you up at the our primal levels to get us to buy stuff to run from stuff to be angry for stuff to vote for stuff. And I think those two things not having humans to balance great trials and tribulations in our life is just left us in a in a state that our bodies are not prepared for. It's just not an evolutionarily. Like, man, we don't have any reference point for where we are right now. Yeah, I also say this. In 2019, a study came out from the Journal of American Medical Association, and I thought in my naivete, I was still working at a university as a Chief Student Affairs Officer. I thought this study was going to rattle the world. And it was this in the United States, the average life expectancy had gone down for the third year in a row. And they were calling them diseases of despair. And so they were not murderers, or whatever things a politician wants to subscribe to. It was Oregon disease failures, like heart disease and liver disease, addiction and suicides. And they were calling them long tail suicides where people weren't pulling a trigger. They were just so lonely. And they were Netflix thing and Twinkie and fast food eating themselves to death on a long on a long tail. And so brother, this was in 2019, before the whole pandemic set off. Yeah, we were already in a mess. And so I think that pandemic has just been an accelerant to what was already culturally was already bubbling up to the surface.

Trevor Tyson  4:36  
And how wild is that that we live in one of the most quote unquote, connected generations, right? And everyone's lonely like seeing someone on a screen hugging someone in person, they're not the same thing. You can actually write 1000 Facebook friends and feel like no one's there. And especially all these influencers and such they're like I'm loved by everyone, but they go home and lay on their pillow and they're like, I literally have no one I've worked and hustled my way to the top, and I've screwed everyone over getting there. It's fascinating. Where did this start? Like, obviously, like the invention of Facebook, not saying that like, that was the main thing and not throwing their company under the bus, even though they've had some great PR lately, wink, wink. It's, it's just, there's a thread going on as a trend. And we kind of work ourselves out of it. Even in my personal life. I'm like, How can I be more connected like one on one with people hanging out with my family hanging out with friends, like, even when I don't want to even when I'm anxious, even when I'm depressed, like those are the best times to be around people, even if you're not saying anything, just to feel that connection. And I assume, or I know, for a fact, a lot of people all over the world are struggling with the same thing. But people call into your show on a daily basis. They're hurting man. And with you being one of the leading voices in mental health and wellness, not even in the country, I've looked at the ratings like globally, you see it firsthand. Was that ever something that went through your mind? Like, I'm going to do this on a national scale? Or was it like, Alright, go dress you for the small piece, and then we're going to keep going if it's your will.

Dr. John Delony  6:09  
On the show, I've been having those conversations for the last 20 years behind closed doors, just with students and their parents, or the number of parents who would fly down to be with their kid who was in, you know, if a at a college if a young person passed away, generally I was the guy that made that call to the mom and dad, if a kid was in the hospital or had need to go to a psych ward is in jail, I was usually the guy who made that call. And so it wasn't rare for a parent to then walk, I walk through them walk through that situation with them. And then a few months later, they may call back and say hey, I've got a question about my wife or a me and my other kid are struggling. Do you have any you know, so that's been happening for years. Now they just put it on the internet. I'll tell you this man, I was pathological about it. I was on a think tank at a university, me about 10 years ago now. And part of that we got to see behind under the hood at some of these tech companies as they were rolling some of these devices out and what they were doing. And I tell you what, man, it was apocalyptic to the point that I wouldn't be. I had one university I worked for after four years. My boss came to me and she said, we have to put you on the website because it looks like we don't have anybody in this role. You have to and I was like, Alright, fine. I do I wanted to not exist on the internet. That was my goal in life. And then this job came along and here we are.

Trevor Tyson  7:33  
Vastly that's working out great for you took a wrong left

Dr. John Delony  7:37  
turn somewhere, brother, but no, this was absolutely had no ambition. I wanted to be a metal singer for a long time. And then that didn't work out. So I had to get a day job. And so you're a metalhead, huh? Do like me some some old punk rock and some old metal. Yeah.

Trevor Tyson  7:52  
Name some of these bands out any proof? Oh, man.

Dr. John Delony  7:56  
Give me some genres. metal core. Oh gosh. You're going old school metal core. That's the old like Iced Earth when I was a kid and GWAR and some of the Napalm Death some of the good ones. That's way back in the day. And some metal core dude I was never into I was more into Hardcore is like the hate breeds in the life agonies in the the what's the one with the train on it? It's one of my favorite ones of all time. I just lost him built to last who wrote to built the last record. I don't know. Come on.

Trevor Tyson  8:26  
I'm 24 man. It's my realm. I need to know who I would know. We talking Breaking Benjamin shine down flyleaf.

Dr. John Delony  8:34  
Oh, those are all those are all those bands are all like those are warm hugs compared to the old bands, man. backwood Panthera used to play all the time. Yeah.

Trevor Tyson  8:45  
I love it. I love it. No. What is it? Did they get it?

Dr. John Delony  8:49  
Hammerfall No, not Hammerfall, who wrote the built to last record, it's got a train on it. To New York hardcore band. It's one of my favorites. It's so much a favorite. I can't remember the name providence.

Trevor Tyson  8:58  
I wasn't even planning on talking about hardcore and you brought it up, which is because the reason I was so excited about this interview is like we've had Ramsey solutions personalities on the show before. And we had such a great time. But now we're talking about metal core. And you're like, the premier person to talk to about mental health and Ramsey personality land. So I'm like, come on, we're just hitting all the nails on the head here. That's excellent man. No man. But obviously like you have a book coming out on your past, change your future. And I'm pumped for this message to get out number one, because it's talking about mental health and the traumas that we go through and how you should not like you should own it, but don't let it take you on into your future. Right. I'm curious to know where this message came from. Were there any particular stories or was this something that you've had on your heart forever to talk about?

Dr. John Delony  9:52  
Going back to your original? You said something earlier that that struck a chord with me is really what the books about um that, whether it's influencers or the folks, I was always the young kid in the room by decade, and especially in university life, right. And so I got a ringside seat into watching people get their dreams, and then having it all melt around them. And I then I was, my research was in the mental health, the mental wellness of lawyers and doctors and fancy preachers, those in our communities that quote unquote, made it that other people go to, and then I was not inoculated to my I experienced it, where man, I'm running a gun, we're making good money. I've gotten these fancy titles, got doing a program at Harvard, I'm working full time, I'm getting a second PhD, all these fancy things, got a new kid, my wife is I thought my marriage was fine. And then do my body started saying I'm out. I'm out. And I didn't have the words for it. I thought everybody else was crazy. And I found myself angry and raged out and popping awake at 2am Popping awake at 2am at 2am at 2am. And I tried to fill those holes with stuff and with action. And with will just get into the next thing. And with exaggeration, with all these other things that just kept swirling around it. Until finally I got in a car one day and drove three hours away was such a paranoid mess by this point, and drove three hours away to a buddy of mine who just I mean, happened to be an MD and I went to his office and I had no appointment. And he sat with me for a couple hours. And I just said, but I'm not okay. And I don't know what's happening to my body. But the way I remember the words, I feel like my head's on fire. And my body is reacting as though somebody's chasing me with an axe. But there is no buddy and I know it, and just this constant fight or flight 24/7. And that was the first wobbly step towards getting well and healing my marriage and being a better dad. And then I ended up getting a second doctor I just started I had to know what happened to me. So I started chasing down the counseling, like what happened to me what happened to my body, what happened to my relationships, and then joined. This was another deal. I didn't sleep well for many years. And so almost like Fight Club at nighttime. My other job was I'd run around with police officers as a crisis support, helping with death notifications, helping sit with people, when they lost loved ones and things like that. And man, so this books about 10 years in the making it crystallized, like winning doesn't make you well, man. And we've been sold a bill of goods that if you just get on this track and run as fast as you can, you can earn or achieve or accomplish your way towards looking in the mirror and be unhappy with what you see. And that's just simply not how that works. It works intensely to that. And so yeah, that's what this books about man is taken ownership of the here's the deal, Trevor, we've been told a couple of billet goods One is you're the worst thing that ever happened to you that you are who you are. Your fill in the blank survivor, that's all you'll be. Or you're the worst thing you ever said or did to somebody, you're the worst thing you've ever done. So you can you know, the old you can build a bill 1000 bridges, but you still one thing, you're a thief, right? That's your identity now. And so, we either spend our life running from those stories that we were born into the ones we were told the ones that told us hate churches, what this looks like, and this is what God thinks about you. And this is what you know, our family, we just don't do math well in our family, whatever the stories you were born into, and the ones you were told that over time becomes the stories you tell yourself. And those are the things that help you repeat generational trauma, they help you repeat the same madness that your dad got into his dad was in that your great granddad was in? And that's how this stuff just goes and goes and goes. And so the book is about how do you take ownership of the things that happen to you the things that you've done? And then what's next? How do you then take that next wobbly step towards getting well, changing your family tree? Right, making things different from this point forward? And so it's both and

Trevor Tyson  13:58  
do that's insane. And you said, you brought up so many great points, and one of them. Now that you brought up math, I suck at math, I'm terrible at it. It's not my strong suit. Like don't ask me to do any mathematics on this interview. I don't want to get embarrassed. But another thing like you work a lot around trauma or you have historically and you still do to this day, that has to take a toll on you that would have had to have something to do with it. But stress like anxiety, panic attacks, suicidal ideation, these are all things that you see more often than not nowadays, which is very unfortunate. Ever since like the pandemic hit. It's like everybody got walked in and people that you would have never thought would have been struggling you end up seeing on the news, taking their own life like people are lonely people are isolated people are depressed and like you had that hope that we were getting out of the pandemic, you know, and then they kind of shut it down again and we're kind of in this weird thing like, alright, Live Nation is back doing events and you can go but this is County's not doing this that and it's like, you don't know. Like, it's like a bunch of different countries within the US like, oh, yeah, in Tennessee, like I'm in Tennessee quite a bit. You're not really wearing masks inside you go the West Coast like 100% different thing. And

Dr. John Delony  15:12  
I did a live event this weekend in Oregon. Yeah, totally different planet. Yeah, yeah. And

Trevor Tyson  15:16  
it's fascinating, like, so many people have different precautions. They have different mindsets, they're being fed different information. A lot of that has to do with the loneliness that we're being fed into. And I love that you brought out like news cycles and stuff. Because if you think about social media and look into the statistics, and where ad money is spent a lot of it's politically because the more divisive people are, the more ad revenue there is for like politicians for Nike, like all these brands are making money on people like either having FOMO, or wanting to find someone to be mad at that keeps you on the algorithms. So with us living in such an algorithmic generation, where do you see this going? Or how can we be a part of change right now? Are there different techniques that like even your kids, like, Hey, don't be on social media for more than 10 minutes today? Like, yeah, what would you say?

Dr. John Delony  16:07  
Oh, man. So let me let me answer that this one. Imagine yourself 5000 years ago, you and your small family. You're living in a cave, and you open your eyes in the morning, and you see a bear at the front of that cave. Your brain has just a few responses. And it has chemicals that it dumps into your bloodstream to do one of a few things, to grab your family and run as fast as you can out the back door to pick up a rock and get between that your family and that bear and fight it. Or you're going to run up and play dead. And that thing's going to bite off one of your legs and drag you out of the cave and hide you under a pile of leaves. Let your family escape. And hopefully you will live to fight another day. fight flight or freeze, right. And we fast forward 5000 years later, and our brains are still operating that same way. And so what I have to understand what we have to understand is we cannot compete with an algorithm. It's better than us. It's faster than us. It learns quicker than we do. It just simply is. And I didn't. That doesn't bother me. Right. It doesn't make me sad just as an is I can't compete. And as you mentioned, the news is job is not to give us correct information. It's to get clicks. And how do they get clicks it it activates that fight or flight system. Here's another beautiful thing about that fight or flight system. When we saw a bear at the front of that cave note our brain didn't want us doing. It didn't want us leaning down and going oh, I wonder if that's a nice cuddly bear. I wonder if that's one of the hug bears? No wanted us to run get out of there, right. So it actually unhooks your critical thinking skills, it unhooks them it trade speed for accuracy, that that looks close enough to a gun I'm going to shoot, right? That looks close enough to a guy with a hatchet who happens to be just drinking a large Diet Coke. He's just in a shadow. I'm out of here, right? Or that happens to look like a guy I saw in a scary movie. So he's probably scary. I'm out of here. And, dude, we can't compete with social media. He's just going to pump our brains full of more things to scare us more things to get us riled up more things to speed up our hearts, more neighbors of ours that we are going to you're going to kill us whatever the thing is. And so to answer your question about social media, do my kids will not have it in my house period. That is a scorched earth policy, simply because I see the data behind closed doors, I'm reading the science data. And these kids are more likely to hurt themselves are more likely to be depressed. It does help connection it does help it know and helps communication doesn't help connection, right? You can transmit info, but you cannot connect. And now I'm watching my middle school son has told me that I'm so lonely when I'm sitting at the table. I don't know what they're talking about. But dude, I'm so glad I'm not in that whatever tick tock mess that they're all dealing with. And I don't know what they're fighting about. Right? So it's, it's I'm playing a long game with them. But yeah, I'm scorched earth on that stuff. No way. It's just it's, Hey, here's the thing. My granddad they gave him cigarettes when he was a kid. Because it calmed kids down. And it does. It helps. It actually helps. And then they were like, oh, man, it'll kill you too. That's where we are social media is just a few years old, and a few years it will be it will have to be much more regulated. And what we're I see this going It's a mess soon. So it's feeding

Trevor Tyson  19:30  
into comparison, which is also driving people to do things they wouldn't normally do. But fight or flight mode FOMO. All of these things people are dealing with on a daily basis. It's it used to be so taboo to talk about mental health and now in the south, it kind of is but everywhere else, it's more open to be discussed. I remember when I started struggling with anxiety and panic attacks in 2016. It was still so taboo that I was afraid to admit it to myself. I didn't receive therapy go through counselling until two years after I had to let it engulf me in this anxiety and this panic. I dropped all my dreams and started working for AT and T. And

Dr. John Delony  20:11  
you said like, that's how bad things got?

Trevor Tyson  20:13  
Well, like? Well, it was I mean, well, I was going from like touring and doing all this fun stuff the life that I had always dreamed of, and doing stuff like this, like, I don't know where I would have been if I wouldn't have stopped doing it like right now. But I waited two years to receive help. And it was because I was afraid to admit it to myself. And I was just like, oh, I can't do that. Everyone's like, why aren't you doing this anymore? It's like, well, I don't want to Yeah, why? Like I, I was impressed, man. And there was some fruit that came out of that, like I was able to purchase my buy purchase, like get a mortgage on my house at 19. Because I've consistent in common such and, you know, it was still one of the darkest seasons of my life. On the outside. It looked like I was living the American dream. But on the inside dude, I was interior writing.

Dr. John Delony  21:02  
Yeah. So we think of like anxiety. We've we've taken in, that's just a simple one, right? We, as a culture have tried to solve anxiety. And here's the deal, all anxiety is is an alarm system. It's just an alarm, letting us know that our lives are either disconnected. We're not people in our lives. We're not safe in our environment, or we're in a situation we can't control what happens to tomorrow. And all that is is an alarm. And so if we go about shutting off, it's like if your house was on fire, and you ran in your kitchen and climbed up on a ladder and duct taped a pillow around your smoke alarm, I didn't take the fight, it shuts the alarm off. It doesn't that didn't do the fire burned down, right? And so and I've stopped pathologizing if somebody's depressing if somebody's anxious, man, that's a that's a signal. Tell me about your life. Right? Tell me about what's going on what relationships are out of whack what's going on with your diet and your food? And you're like, what, what's happening in your world that is making your body respond because our bodies are pretty intuitive and the pre smart. And we've just created an entire ecosystem that shuts down our bodies, and lets companies and governments tell us what is best for

Trevor Tyson  22:12  
us. Yeah. And you wrote about this and redefining anxiety is right. There are there's so many resources available. And I feel like I wouldn't be doing this interview any justice to not talk about the financial aspect of it. When people get lower and their financial. Like they say, yeah, you feel uneasy, I can't provide I can't do this. I'm not on track to be able to support my family this on the other financial stresses can trigger Oh, man with the above.

Dr. John Delony  22:40  
And I believe you cannot be mentally hold because we look at the one of the cornerstones of mental health is mental wellness is autonomy. I am free to move about the country. I'm a free I'm a I'm able to participate in what comes next in my life. It's a cornerstone of mental health. And if you owe somebody money, you, you, at&t decides your mortgage company decides your student loan servicer decides what you do tomorrow, not you because you owe them money, right? And so yeah, dude, when you owe somebody money, when your finances are low, and you're struggling with in poverty, you can't be your body's gonna sound every alarm it has, because it's not safe anymore.

Trevor Tyson  23:22  
Yeah, what are some steps that people could take to get out of debt, like the right way, when it comes to mental health, like I said, like, people just get so triggered, and I can't like everything start to run into their mind. Worst case scenario, I'm gonna lose a house, I'm gonna lose a car, I'm gonna do this. But for that person that is watching or listening to this, there is a way to do it. The smart way, like not just going like, that's a very bad analogy, not putting the foot to the fore on it. But how can we slowly start to integrate these healthy mindsets to get us out of these ruts?

Dr. John Delony  23:56  
When it comes to mental health, you have to when it comes to your relationships, and deciding I'm going to live a well life, I think you've got to own your stories. You've got to be honest with yourself about what's happened to you what you've done, what's happened, what you were told, growing up the truths, you were told, maybe people fed, you fool if you grew up in a racist household, and they told you that other people who didn't look like you, or worship like you, or whatever, like you, they're the reason that you're miserable, right? Or maybe you grew up in a home that told you, you know, in our house, we don't play that kind of music or in our house with whatever you were told. You got to own those stories. And then you've got to acknowledge reality. And for many of us, when it comes to finances, we were told, you have to go to college, which means you have to take out six figures of loans. You have to drive a new car because that's the only safe car so you have to go get a loan on that car. You have to buy a house at 19. Right? You have to these stories that we were born into, you got to own them, and then you got to acknowledge reality. And the reality is Yes, I was abused. So now What? Yes, I hit somebody in the mouth when I was a kid. Yes, I used to make jokes that now I've come to learn to hurt people, I've done these things, these things have happened to me. And I'm here. When it comes to finances, you have to own. I've done dumb things, right? I bought cars on on that I couldn't afford, I've lived in places that couldn't afford us. I have put things on credit cards that I shouldn't have bought and had the money to, then I got to acknowledge reality, how much debt do I actually have. And when it comes to stories about we've run into, I tell people to write them down, write them all down, write them down, get them out of your body and onto a piece of paper. Same with your debts, man, you got to get all of your debts in order smallest to greatest on a piece of paper and just look at the reality. Whoa, this is how much I owe somebody else. Some people 13 credit cards, I was a part of a debt free scream earlier today on Dave show that $100,000 In unsecured debt, credit cards and cars, just a lot of money, and they write them down. And wife was she wrote them down. She had been the one paying bills. She said we wrote them down. And my first thought was, I guess we're getting divorced, he's gonna leave me. And that started their journey back together, right? So you got to own that reality. And then from there, man, you got to get a group of people, you got to get connected with people. And then you got to be about changing your actions and changing your thoughts.

Trevor Tyson  26:16  
Come on, and what are some of the resources that Ramsey solutions have to help you get through that journey?

Dr. John Delony  26:22  
Really, wherever you happen to be if you're a young kid, and we have a teen entrepreneur kit, all the way up to Dave just wrote a best selling book number one best selling book baby steps millionaires on, if you will just walk this path, I don't care where you are, you can end up with a million dollar net worth. And it's not voodoo. And it's not Bitcoin and it's not selling whatever, NF T's or whatever, Beanie Babies, whatever it happens to be. It's simply just grind it out the old fashioned way, and do it the right way. It's going to be sustainable. And in the process, you'll get your community back, your marriage, back your friendships back your health back. And we're playing a long game here, man, Dave likes to tell the story that he reads the tortoise and the hare every year. And every year, the tortoise wins every single, you know, every single time. And so it's just playing that doing the right thing over and over. So it's just repetition, right? Yes, it

Trevor Tyson  27:17  
totally is. And we're not even an interview about that. The only reason I bring it up for is Ramsey plus has been a huge success for me to use, like being able to map everything out. It automatically tracks it for you. And the fact that like, you don't have to buy like $100 starter kit anymore. Like it's

Dr. John Delony  27:35  
shown. I guess I should pitch that. Yeah. The flagship product range plus right in the every dollar app that does things for that. But yeah, I mean, it's just it walks alongside just the app that me and my wife use. And I mean, I did my taxes last night, I hit send and got my refund, sent out for when using Ramsey taxes product. So there's a million different products you can use here.

Trevor Tyson  27:56  
Yeah. And kind of a segue back into the book. In the first chapter, you lay out what you call the path to being well, can you map some of those steps out for us? And yeah, I

Dr. John Delony  28:07  
just walked through. I think it's important to note this when it comes to don't get out of debt, there's a path, you do this step. And then that's step and the next step. In the next step, the challenge with wellness in relationships is, right, when you get your feet underneath, yeah, you get a call that mom's got cancer, and right when you get home from going to visit her. Your girlfriend says that her old boyfriends called that right, so life doesn't happen in a linear fashion like that. And so it's instead of five, you know, the five easy steps to lose 40 pounds, it's not like that, it's more, here are some principles that you will go back to over and over again for the rest of your life. And if you'll internalize these principles, it will guide the rest of your decision making for the rest of your life. But it goes back to you got to own your stories, you've got to acknowledge reality, you've have to have to have to get people in your life around you. You can't do life by yourself. And then you have to do the hard work of changing your thoughts and changing your actions. And you're gonna do that over and over again for the rest of your life.

Trevor Tyson  29:08  
Come on, and to kind of wrap up here for someone that's out there. And maybe they're struggling with career and maybe they're trying to figure out what it is exactly they're supposed to do in life, whether they're supposed to go invest in college and get in debt or whether they're supposed to just go to trade school and such. If they're feeling super discouraged, and the world's kind of shifting them in nine different directions. What would that one message from Dr. John Delaney be to them?

Dr. John Delony  29:31  
And number one, you're not alone. You're not by yourself. Number two gets better. Hang in there. Number three, reach out to somebody. Most of us don't believe we're worth talking to. And most of us don't feel comfortable talking to other people now and reach out to somebody whether that is a professional, Melissa counselor, and I've partnered with the counseling company BetterHelp to help people take away your excuses. Like you can pick up a phone and call somebody and they'll be there right there. it. Or it can be as simple as, Hey, dad, and he talked to you about when you were 22. And I know we yell at each other, and we're back and forth, and you're an old man or whatever. But I'm feeling pretty scared about where I'm at right now. And you'll be surprised your dad may say, Yeah, dude, I was really scared to. Or if you've got an older person in your life that you trust, that's 1015 years ahead of you down the road and just say, Man, I'm just nervous. They can go Yeah, I was, too. When I was your age, 911 happened when I was your age, I was just getting back from Vietnam or whoever you're talking to. But there's something about generational wisdom, that's a gift. And we just have thrown it all out for new shiny stuff. But I got a group of friends that are 1015 years older than me that are worth their weight in gold times two times to the fifth power, right? Oh, I can always check in with and see, am I crazy? And they're like, Yeah, you push it back down. Just take off and slow down.

Trevor Tyson  30:55  
Yeah, I love that so much, man. Well, thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule. I know you had to rush over here from now,

Dr. John Delony  31:01  
bro. You are awesome, man. I'm grateful for you.

Trevor Tyson  31:05  
Thank you so much. And for everybody listening or watching this. Right now. John's new book is available at the description below. On your past, change your future, go pick it up, go check out all the resources, which we're going to link in the description below along with Ramsey plus along with BetterHelp along with Every Dollar all of that will be in the description below. Because these are all products that I sign off on that I have a stamp of approval on and that I actively use in my everyday life. So I'm not just feeding you some sort of snake oil. The Ramsey team has really changed millions of lives with these resources and I believe they can do as well. So John, thank you so much for being here. And we'll talk to you guys next week. Brother

Dr. John Delony  31:49  
to think Hey, before you leave, what's one band need to check out?

Trevor Tyson  31:53  
August Burns Red.

Dr. John Delony  31:55  
I know that they're fantastic.

Trevor Tyson  31:56  
Give me another I'm on Memphis may fire.

Dr. John Delony  31:59  
I'm on it. Never heard of them. I will now Memphis may fire

Trevor Tyson  32:03  
the protest. Lacey Sturm do we can go for hours. Why'd you do that now?

Dr. John Delony  32:09  
Because I'm on the hunt for good new bands, man. Hold on, man. I love it. Thank you. My brother Memphis may fire their next. Hey, I'm grateful for you, Trevor. Appreciate you, man.

Trevor Tyson  32:18  
You too, man. We'll talk to you guys next week.

Dr. John Delony Profile Photo

Dr. John Delony

Dr. John Delony is a national bestselling author, mental health and wellness
expert and host of The Dr. John Delony Show. He holds two PhDs – one in
Counselor Education and Supervision and another in Higher Education
Administration. Before joining Ramsey Solutions, John spent two decades working
as a senior leader at multiple universities, a professor and researcher, and crisis
responder. Now as a Ramsey Personality, he teaches people how to reclaim their
lives from the madness of the modern world. Follow John on Facebook, Twitter,
Instagram, and Youtube.